Endeavour, industry and skill laden output,....... inspiring!!! Congratulations.

Wow! I am very impressed.

ikes wrote:


Oh, OK.. I was looking for it in the desert scene when the old man got out of the car.
Yes, VERY COOL! the fact that I didn't notice it is a testimony to the believability of the presentation. When you accept what's happening, you automatically stop watching for details and just follow the story!

PatMarrNC wrote:


It's at 10:57, when he gets out for the drugs.

Yes Ikes, I meant the rain would be moving to the right at the same pace as the background, unless they had a very localised rain cloud above the car

And yes...How you do to open the car doors?

I not only totally missed that, but I can't find it now even armed with the knowledge that it's there! At what time marker is this found?

I THINK I understand what you did here, but a little more of an explanation would be helpful. (Or not, your call.)

if this exchange wasn't happening online, this would be the part where we all pick Ikes up and carry him around on our shoulders as we sing "for he's a jolly good fellow..."

WOW! Ikes.. that was every bit as good as I hoped it would be!

So many cool extras that you built into the scenes... great pickup truck model! I liked the dust when the truck backed up on the dirt road after knocking out the old man.. and the rain drops on the trucks side window as he scored some drugs in the rain...

and you even gave Jimmy a belt! I love it!

All the stuff (music, sound effects, visual effects etc) that you added to the story above and beyond what was in the original radio clip... it was all so tastefully and artistically done.

I'll probably have more comments after I watch it again.. I didn't take notes and I have a short memory. ;-)

But I remember that its awesome... great job!

-------------more comments---------
6:22 I liked the suitcase full of Doris's clothes in the motel... except from a continuity perspective, she had a backpack in the first part, not a suitcase

I notice you eliminated most (but not all) of the clipping in the motel room. The thought occurred to me that once you get it reduced to that small amount, it might be practical to edit individual frames to keep fingers visible. Assuming you export to a series of PNGs, you wouldn't have too many individual frames to edit, and any artifacts would be far less noticeable than the clipping.

7:11 the movement of the vehicles in this second segment is every bit as good as in the first one... the approaching truck as it drives into clarity within the Field of view.. very well done! Likewise later in the film when the police car does the same thing

7:56 I also liked how naturally the truck turned off the highway and onto the dirt road. And you included brake lights! How cool is that??

8:24 the opening of the truck door was cool!

8:36 Transferring the wallet from Jimmy's hand to Doris's hand was pretty slick!

8:42 the DOF here is particularly effective at focusing the viewer's attention on what's important to the scene. Good job finding an action that works for hitting the old man on the head with a gun

8:49 the combination of camera movement, object movement, dust from the road when the truck backs up and depth of field all works together to create an awesome scene!

8:54 I like the way the light interacts with the truck's windshield as it changes angle relative to the sun while backing up... very cool!

9:00 all the drive-by scenery starting at this counter really looks good!

9:19 Twenty dollars in the wallet... Not a reflection on the film , but this line really makes me shake my head at the travesties humanity is willing to impose on itself for almost no reward at all. When you consider the inherent value of personal integrity and realize that people will trade their integrity for a couple of dollars... wow.

10:45 the drive-by scenery looks good... apparently true 3D based on the way it responds to camera angle.

10:50 windshield wipers! You da MAN!! I'm curious to know if the sound of the wipers was in the original clip, or did you add it?

11:00 the whole drug transaction was very well done and well lit! Again, the water droplets on the side window are such a good touch! Let's hear it for Hit Film!

11:30 throwing a brick through the door and breaking the glass.. very cool! How did you do that (the breaking glass)? I like the way the brick transitioned from being held in his hand to flying through the air.

11:32 good job finding an action that approximates opening the door

11:35 Good job with the glass in the store.. it's cool being able to see him walking inside the store through the window and lettering on the window

11:41 excellent scene framing with the car's dark interior and view of approaching police car... especially as the FOV changes to clearly show the police car

11:54 very cool the way you depicted her flashing the headlights to warn Jimmy!

12:07 Nice police car model!

12:12 very nice drug store interior! Did you make that? If so, you put a lot of work into a scene that last just a few seconds! (but it looks great)

12:13 I like the view from behind the policeman

12:28 nice combination of moves to approximate Jimmy's decline and fall after being shot

12:34 I like the angle and framing of this scene

12:52 I like all the attention to detail with background activity that is blurred but still there for context

13:26 good job assembling the actions required to suggest she's being handcuffed

13:36 interesting conclusion passage, especially with the music.

14:00 I even like your credits! The font is appropriate for the story and visually full of impact

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edited by PatMarrNC on 24/09/2016

Awesome Ikes, once again I like how clean it all is, how sharply defined and 'direct', if you see what I mean. It's easy to get too fussy and add a ton of detail that's distracting, but you kept each scene 'on message' and that worked really well. The rain should have been moving past the car as it moved across the screen (10:43 on), and the cactus in the desert set is swaying, but that's nit picking. I was more interested in poor Doris and her plight than technical details, which is testament to how well it was all put together. And thanks for fixing the hand clipping in the motel room - a step back is all it takes. I also liked the subtle way Jimmy got more and more unhealthy looking as the withdrawal kicked in, and the final shot of his blood stained corpse was spot on. My favourite shot was at 6:16 - again, simple but highly effective, almost underdone in it's simplicity but it works so well. More than any technical highlights, the atmosphere was what made it work I think. Ten thumbs up (this is why I can't play piano).

Cleverly done, I love the toyota truck scene, and the one with the gun fires...ho, and how you do the moving backgrownd on the inside the car scenes?

- It's too bad that wearable items can't be placed in the scene by it self, so I couldn't let Doris pack her backpack. Instead she's packing Jimmy's suitcase, as he was getting a paper. You see them later walking in the desert with Jimmy holding the suitcase and Doris with backpack.

- It's too bad muvizu changed the rendering of the layers. Before the latest update frames were always transparent and rendered as whole. Now you have to check "cutout occluders" to make them transparent, but that also cuts out parts where the object in the layer is obscured. If you now want separate rendered characters you would need to render the whole scene per character.

- I transfered the wallet from Jimmy's hand to Doris's hand by keyframing the visibility of the wallet.

- I used the throwing action to let Jimmy hit the head of the old man, which looked the most convincing.

- As it is an old recording $20,- was of course more valuable back then, than now. I couldn't find a way to change the amount. Maybe I should have let that part out of it.

- I would have guessed that you would mention the light in the car when he opens the door to get out of the car. I liked the detail myself.

- The windshield wipers where not in the recording. Actually the whole scene of the drug scoring is not part of the story, I added it. It's done with keyframed images in hitfilm.

- The water droplets on the side window are a great effect from hitfilm. I finally found a useful scene for it.

- The brick throwing was done with keyframing the visibility and the path. The breaking glass I did in hitfilm with keyframed masks on a translucent gray plane.

- I made the drug store interior myself. Basically with backdrops. It was a lot of work though to fill the shelves. It's more than a few seconds as it is the place of the whole last scene.

- Jimmy's decline and fall after being shot is the poison choke action. The actions of actually being shot, like in the western category look much too exaggerated and strange how he jumps back.

tonyob67 wrote:


Thanks very much Tony!
I did that with keyframing the visiblity of the newspaper. Both the one he is holding and the single paper which movement is also keyframed. The same with the wallet. I imported it into their hand and keyframed the visibility.

Great movie.....How did you hold, and then throw the news paper?, and how you pass from hands the wallet?, I have to watch this again SUPER!!!

Make yourself comfortable, this is the whole story about teenager Doris. I have removed part 1 and just made one movie out of the whole story.
At 6:14 min the story continues where part 1 ended.

Enjoy and please let me know what you think of it.

-Ikes-