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11/08/2016 12:18:49

unlimitedmagic
unlimitedmagic
Posts: 53 		Here's a project I've been working on for a while. I wrote the script a few years ago intending for it to be live action but with the special effects requirements and no budget, Muvizu came along at the right time. The final show might be around 45 minutes long.

edited by robert-j-ladrach on 11/08/2016
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11/08/2016 15:09:00

ziggy72Muvizu mogulExperimental user
ziggy72
Posts: 1988 		That's kind of epic. I would recommend you redo the first 4 minutes with depth of field to soften that hard horizon, it would look a lot more... y'know, heavenly Also, if you haven't already, I also recommend you download Hitfilm Express and start firing FX at it, it'll look great.
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11/08/2016 17:29:02

unlimitedmagic
unlimitedmagic
Posts: 53 		Good point, as I got better with the software - I've been able to add better lighting and effects. Can you see the clip? It doesn't show on the post any more...
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11/08/2016 18:55:42

ziggy72Muvizu mogulExperimental user
ziggy72
Posts: 1988 		Yes the clip shows fine on this page for me - maybe you have browser issues? I use Firefox.
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12/08/2016 19:04:24

clayster2012Muvizu mogul
clayster2012
Posts: 645 		This was very touching, I lost my dad back in November of 2010, I never got to spend any last moments with him but I wished I did, I never got to tell him how much I loved him before he left, but I know he knows how much I do, this was really good and epic, if you need any help on anything to finish this let me know Bro, this was heart touching to me!

clayster.
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16/08/2016 03:01:06

unlimitedmagic
unlimitedmagic
Posts: 53 		I've taken the great advice from ziggy72, and re-rendered the opening 4 minutes with camera blur. I've added several scenes to the end and sweetened the audio with some effects and foley. I appreciate the comments from Clayster; it gives me the resolve to push ahead and finish the film. It's funny, when I posted the clip on facebook and asked my friends to give me constructive criticism - I got very little. But I really want solid critiques of the work so I can improve the story, animation - whatever I can do, so please don't be shy with your comments - I appreciate the feedback, especially criticism on how you think it could be better. Thanks again.
Bob
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16/08/2016 03:25:22

PatMarrNCMuvizu mogul
PatMarrNC
Posts: 1738 		robert-j-ladrach wrote:
It's funny, when I posted the clip on facebook and asked my friends to give me constructive criticism - I got very little. But I really want solid critiques of the work so I can improve the story, animation - whatever I can do, so please don't be shy with your comments - I appreciate the feedback, especially criticism on how you think it could be better. Thanks again.
Bob


it has been my experience that the general friends most of us have on facebook aren't likely to stick their necks out and critique much of anything.. and if they did, you probably couldn't believe it because friends tend to tell you what you want to hear.

They also tend to lack the technical expertise to offer any truly helpful suggestions. Which is why software forums are a good way to get the kind of suggestions that most creative people need in order to grow their skills.

As you've already discovered, Ziggy is a good source of information, and he isn't inclined to tell people what they want to hear.
edited by PatMarrNC on 16/08/2016
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16/08/2016 03:39:02

PatMarrNCMuvizu mogul
PatMarrNC
Posts: 1738 		awesome sets, Robert! And good story line and voice acting! You've clearly put a lot of work into this already!

I especially like the houses. Tell us a little about how you created them... are they full-blown models? Or 2d graphics on backdrops? Is all of this happening in Muvizu? Or are your scenes composite shots assembled in your editor?

Enquiring minds want to know...
edited by PatMarrNC on 16/08/2016
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16/08/2016 05:32:58

Rocque
Rocque
Posts: 359 		If there is one thing people can use right now, it is something to believe in and hope, lots of hope. I can see the definite Biblical influence here, and it is a great way to explain it. From the golden streets to the places prepared for those who believe. One thing I did notice that if there is no time in Heaven, why is his dad wearing a watch? Of course God knows time, but since I have never been to heaven, I am not sure if everyone else has a way of telling time, or if it is important. I liked the mother's reaction when her son appeared in her house. The time went really fast watching this so that means you did a great job, because I have difficulty sitting through anything over 3-5 minutes. LOL.

The use of water and the sounds of water was very effective. The lighting was really good too. You have accomplished a lot and I admire all the work you have put into this. I can not even begin to imagine how you were able to get so much into your scenes, when I put a few things in one and Muvizu tells me I have too much in it, and restricts how many objects I can use.

Do not give up on this production, you are doing a great job.
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16/08/2016 14:35:52

ziggy72Muvizu mogulExperimental user
ziggy72
Posts: 1988 		@ Rocque Maybe he just liked that watch, maybe it was personal. Or maybe he liked to wear it as a sort of joke on time... No, actually you're right, why is he wearing a watch anyway? Whaaaaa?

@PatMarrNC I think you'll find those are Urbanlamb's sets for the wintertime stuff.

@Robert-J Depth of field looks nice, adds dimension, and covers a multitude of sins By obscuring the hard horizons you get a blended backdrop so people focus on the characters, not 'why is the horizon dead flat?', or 'where are those trees disappearing into?'. If you want a detailed breakdown on what you could immediately improve on (from my beady glare squint ) then it would be this -

Use Hitfilm (always number one recommendation from now on)

Re-record the first 2 mins of audio, stop biting the mic

1:02 When he looks in the water... It doesn't work. Very very obviously. Not working 'a bit' is okay, but not 'very obviously'. People would stop watching here.

1:25 Too much Camera Shake for too long. You can type in decimal values (like 0.5) to lower it right down. Or use keyframes to move the camera around slightly to make the view more of a POV shot from dude to Dad. Also, the fog behind Dad is now obscured by the DoF, so just looks like a big blob of darker nothing. I don't think you need it anyway.

2:10 I'd stop using the fly effect from here, going on a bit long now.

5:13 & 5:33 Lovely shot, nicely executed, completely ruined by the floor tiles clipping through the ground at some corners. Raise then a little and turn off 'Casts Shadows' - they'll still look flat and no longer distract.

5:40 The 'road' is clipping through the base of the structure in an ugly way (screen right). And your backdrop trees are stunted looking.

6:54 The tiling on the texture is obvious on the circular base - maybe try to find a similar golden texture that is seamless.

7:27 The problem with the cloth skirts is the glitching and jumping they do (as well as the characters hands always clipping straight though them), and this is distracting throughout this bit. Try framing the shot differently to keep it out of view. A higher camera angle would also help to flatten her fingers against the keys of the piano.

7:47 Her scarf went back to default colours. Hate it when that happens. Some weird colour shifts from shot to shot here, and layers - ?

8:28 Too many head scratches. He'd have a hole in head by now. Always use the eye and head movements to convey emotion first, then resort to Actions when they aren't enough.

9:33 Her eyes are now green - if fact everything's went green on Mom's side of the window. DoF would help this shot, move the focus away from the guys departing.

11:08 Nice shot mate.

11:30 His idea of heaven is a house built in Minecraft? That's what it looks like. If you need a natural looking hill or something let me know, I'll bodge something together

This is the 'lite' version of what myself and ukBerty do with each others stuff, in order to push ourselves to do it better. Finding a reliable sounding board is a great help if you want to improve, I highly recommend it. I hope my breakdown has been of some help.
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16/08/2016 17:09:33

Rocque
Rocque
Posts: 359 		Wow, Ziggy!!! Can I borrow your eyes and ears? Maybe this comes with experience, but when I am working on something that I want to be epic, I hope I can call on your help, too. Your attention to detail is amazing, and I found it to be very helpful (if I was the maker of Heaven Bound, it would be, after I cried for about 30 minutes and then remembered that I wanted my project to be the best).

@ Rocque Maybe he just liked that watch, maybe it was personal. Or maybe he liked to wear it as a sort of joke on time... No, actually you're right, why is he wearing a watch anyway?
I loved this comment, Ziggy. It was excellent.
To Robert: You have a lot to do, but please continue, now, back to your dungeon and get to work!!!


One other thing is that I would "borrow" Ziggy's blanket can cover up the dying man. I am just modest like that.
edited by Rocque on 16/08/2016
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16/08/2016 17:25:10

MrDrWho13Muvizu mogulExperimental user
MrDrWho13
Posts: 2220 		Now that's the sort of criticism I'd like when I'm making a video. I know who to ask now.
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16/08/2016 18:38:47

ziggy72Muvizu mogulExperimental user
ziggy72
Posts: 1988 		Just call for me for some abuse, I'm here all day Big Grin
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16/08/2016 18:40:19

unlimitedmagic
unlimitedmagic
Posts: 53 		Great feedback! I'm going to put all of this on my to do list and will knock them out as I can. I appreciate the detail as some of this I saw on the first render and then got busy with the rest of it. EXCELLENT - it does help and the time code helps me to zero right in on the issue. Thanks again!

Cheers,

Bob
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16/08/2016 18:41:29

unlimitedmagic
unlimitedmagic
Posts: 53 		Oh, and the watch thing, I had created the character with a favorites and never changed back to the watchless version, good catch.
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17/08/2016 00:34:53

unlimitedmagic
unlimitedmagic
Posts: 53 		PatMarrNC wrote:
awesome sets, Robert! And good story line and voice acting! You've clearly put a lot of work into this already!

I especially like the houses. Tell us a little about how you created them... are they full-blown models? Or 2d graphics on backdrops? Is all of this happening in Muvizu? Or are your scenes composite shots assembled in your editor?

Enquiring minds want to know...
edited by PatMarrNC on 16/08/2016


Mom's exterior house is from sketchup with as many reduced planes as I could manage but still have a decent front view.

Mom's house interior walls were made from modified wood wall panels from Sketchup 3D warehouse. The ceiling and floor were ground planes with textures. The wall panels have been posted in the Store
https://www.muvizu.com/Set/46528/More-Panel-Options

Everything except the audio and dissolve or time shift edits are happening in Muvizu.

The Mansion above the waterfall was from Sketchup but because it was too big of a file, I used a section plane to chop off the back of the house to create the asset. The interior of the mansion is mostly super-wide walls with textures. The roof and supports were created in sketchup.

I did come up with a neat trick, on the bridge scene where Joe and his Dad walk slowly, I used the SAD emotion but kept tapping a happy pose. This kept them upright while walking slowly. At the beginning and end of the sad walk cycle the character slumps forward and then leans back at the end. If you look, you will see that both characters have this strange leaning back action when they stop. I wish there were several walk speeds but this is a happy compromise.



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17/08/2016 00:51:02

ziggy72Muvizu mogulExperimental user
ziggy72
Posts: 1988 		Sorry, I thought for sure that winter set looked like Urban's - guess snowy trees at Christmas time look alike anyway! Also, forgot to ask about the strangely slow walk - choosing moods before actions can change the actions and movements in odd ways, and that's a good find.
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17/08/2016 01:18:49

unlimitedmagic
unlimitedmagic
Posts: 53 		The trees might be Urban's, not sure whether I imported them from Sketchup or found them in the store...
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17/08/2016 02:07:11

ziggy72Muvizu mogulExperimental user
ziggy72
Posts: 1988 		Of course, I forgot she also uploaded some assets (back in the days when we still could). I've used those same trees myself, she makes nice models.
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17/08/2016 04:06:45

tonyob67
tonyob67
Posts: 211 		robert-j-ladrach wrote:
I've taken the great advice from ziggy72, and re-rendered the opening 4 minutes with camera blur. I've added several scenes to the end and sweetened the audio with some effects and foley. I appreciate the comments from Clayster; it gives me the resolve to push ahead and finish the film. It's funny, when I posted the clip on facebook and asked my friends to give me constructive criticism - I got very little. But I really want solid critiques of the work so I can improve the story, animation - whatever I can do, so please don't be shy with your comments - I appreciate the feedback, especially criticism on how you think it could be better. Thanks again.
Bob


Sad story , my father died , I hope to see him in a place like that.

Nice indor sets...

Did he ever get to fly?
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